[ It would have been better — she would have been better off, she thinks, if Embry Moore had never walked into her office after all those years, as handsome and rakish as he’s ever been, maybe even more so with the wear of age settling on his features, the stresses of time and trial and war. Maybe she would have been able to fully close her heart off to him if she’d never laid eyes on him again. Maybe she would have been able to endure until the pain dulled, until she was too numbed to it to care anymore.
But he’d sought her out not wholly on his own behalf, but Ash’s — an act of fealty for their President, for his brother-in-arms, for the love of her life — and she’d had no way of knowing, then, that it was eating him up inside, too. That the gut punch of being in the same room, relying on the same air, would hit even harder as soon as they were close enough to breathe each other in. ]
I know that what I’m asking for is selfish. I know it is.
[ And maybe she’s the most selfish out of all of them — a greedy little whore who can’t be content with only one man when she can cling to two instead, who can’t be satisfied with only one set of hands on her. No one has to leverage the insults at her when it won’t even come close to what she’s harbored about herself, laying in bed at night, turning the events of the piano bar over and over in her mind — but beyond the self-censure and judgment and shame, the only sentiment that had burned through had been a yearning for more.
Embry’s hands are strong in hers, and Greer clutches onto them tightly, squeezing like they’re standing at the altar readying themselves to say a wholly different kind of vow. He kisses her, and she sobs a little into his mouth; somehow, her cheeks are already damp from the tears that have silently been streaming down her face. Of course she understands why Embry has to be the one to make the sacrifice for them, when Ash never will, but it makes her hate the responsibilities of the highest office that much more, makes her wish they were anyone other than the President and the Vice President and Leo Galloway’s granddaughter — that it could be different, and beautiful, and painful, and perfect. ]
I can’t believe that. I won’t believe that. [ That anything between them could be worse than not having it at all, she means, and she can taste the salt of her own tears in their kisses, returning each one he gives her with equal tenderness. ] But if you can’t say yes to forever, then say yes to right now. [ A pause, as she draws in a shaky breath, whispering across his mouth, lashes dark and wet. ] I need you inside me again. Please.
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But he’d sought her out not wholly on his own behalf, but Ash’s — an act of fealty for their President, for his brother-in-arms, for the love of her life — and she’d had no way of knowing, then, that it was eating him up inside, too. That the gut punch of being in the same room, relying on the same air, would hit even harder as soon as they were close enough to breathe each other in. ]
I know that what I’m asking for is selfish. I know it is.
[ And maybe she’s the most selfish out of all of them — a greedy little whore who can’t be content with only one man when she can cling to two instead, who can’t be satisfied with only one set of hands on her. No one has to leverage the insults at her when it won’t even come close to what she’s harbored about herself, laying in bed at night, turning the events of the piano bar over and over in her mind — but beyond the self-censure and judgment and shame, the only sentiment that had burned through had been a yearning for more.
Embry’s hands are strong in hers, and Greer clutches onto them tightly, squeezing like they’re standing at the altar readying themselves to say a wholly different kind of vow. He kisses her, and she sobs a little into his mouth; somehow, her cheeks are already damp from the tears that have silently been streaming down her face. Of course she understands why Embry has to be the one to make the sacrifice for them, when Ash never will, but it makes her hate the responsibilities of the highest office that much more, makes her wish they were anyone other than the President and the Vice President and Leo Galloway’s granddaughter — that it could be different, and beautiful, and painful, and perfect. ]
I can’t believe that. I won’t believe that. [ That anything between them could be worse than not having it at all, she means, and she can taste the salt of her own tears in their kisses, returning each one he gives her with equal tenderness. ] But if you can’t say yes to forever, then say yes to right now. [ A pause, as she draws in a shaky breath, whispering across his mouth, lashes dark and wet. ] I need you inside me again. Please.